Remote Work on Vacation – Why It Doesn't Have to Be Black or White

We spend so much energy trying to choose between fully unplugging or staying available, when the truth is most of us live somewhere in between. And that in-between deserves a name too.

Somewhere Between Black and White

Every summer, the same advice circulates. Unplug completely. Leave the laptop at home. Be fully present or don't bother going at all.

But for those of us building something of our own, that advice was never built with us in mind. Stepping away from a business, even for a week, doesn't quiet the mind the way it's supposed to. It just delays the anxiety and hands us a flooded inbox on the other side.

So we started asking a different question. What if it didn't have to be one or the other? What if it could be purple?

Purple is the space between fully on and fully off. It's a workout before the kids wake up. It's a set amount of time with the inbox, an hour here or there, not every single day, just chosen parts of the trip. It's carrying a small piece of our routine into our travel, not because we can't let go, but because that routine is part of what keeps us steady.

Our kids don't learn balance from what we tell them. They learn it from watching us live it.

We've learned that trying to force ourselves into "fully unplugged" usually backfires. The anxiety doesn't disappear, it just gets pushed down until we're home, staring at a screen full of everything we avoided, while our kids wonder why we're distracted again.

Fill Your Bucket First

Here's the part that changed things for us. Presence isn't about where our body is standing. It's about where our mind is.

A parent who is physically on the beach but mentally replaying a work problem isn't actually present. A full bucket is what makes the difference between being there and being there.

So on our trips, we protect small pockets of time to fill ours. A workout. A quiet coffee. That short window with the inbox. Not guilt, just maintenance. And once that bucket is full, we close the laptop and we mean it.

A Few Things That Help

• Book one activity that is just you and one child, no siblings, no agenda, just the two of you. Save it for after you've had your own moment to reset, so you're actually showing up for it.

• Choose an amount of time that feels right, maybe an hour, and decide upfront which parts of the trip it belongs to. It doesn't have to be daily. A defined window with a real start and end time feels different than an open-ended scroll through email.

• Pick one non-negotiable, whether it's a morning workout or a walk alone, and protect it the same way you'd protect a client meeting.

• Let your kids see the routine, briefly and without apology. It teaches them that taking care of yourself and being present for them aren't in competition.

Coming Home Full, Not Flooded

The old model tells us to choose. Be a founder or be present. Grind or rest. Black or white.

We don't think that's true anymore. Purple is what lets us come home from a trip already full instead of catching up for a week. It's what lets us sit down with our kids for that one small activity and actually be there for it, not just present in the room.

You don't have to choose one version of yourself to be a good parent. You just have to find your own purple, and protect it.

H.P. Lovecraft once wrote that the oldest and strongest fear we carry is the fear of the unknown. That's what anxiety really is, the mind reaching for certainty it doesn't have. But when we put small, chosen steps in place, a set window of time, one activity we know is coming, a routine we can count on, the unknown gets smaller. And that's where purple takes over.

You don't have to navigate this journey alone.

Whether you need a moment of clarity or a practical tool to help simplify your day, let our community and curated resources be the village that supports your intentional path forward.

— Nimi & Ruth, CultivatED Group